Marriage Preparation

So after learning about family and it's importance to our Heavenly Father and after discussing the benefits of marriage vs cohabitation not only for society but for the individual as well.

So the question is this... How do we prepare for marriage and why is it important to prepare for marriage?

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that through the right authority in the proper place (temple) we can be married not just until death do you part but for eternity. Because of this, our families can be "Perpetuated beyond the grave."

Even though the divorce rate keeps rising, doesn't mean that our decision to take the next step with that special someone is wrong. there might be fears about not finding the right one or feelings of inadequacy  but one important thing to remember is this when you have faith you don't fear, but if you fear then you must not have faith. You must have faith even in marriage and in yourself.

I've always heard that we must not worry about marrying the right person, we must worry about becoming the right person.

The following comes from the talk, Becoming a Quality Person Now by Marvin J. Ashton
As you strive to become a quality person, commune daily with your Heavenly Father who knows you best of all. He knows your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. You are here on the earth at this time to develop and refine these characteristics. I promise you He will help you. He is aware of your needs.

• The right person for you to marry is someone from whom the natural and wholesome and normal affection that should exist does exist.
• qualities besides good looks a potential spouse should have: kindly understanding, forgiving of others, willing to give of self, willing to have a family and to teach them in the home correct principles. (with these qualities, it is important to not only demand them of the other person but we should depend them of ourselves. we tend to attract those who are more like us, if we develop and practice these qualities then we will most likely attract those with the same qualities.

Here are some red flags of immature love. We must all be aware of these characteristics so that we don't fall into a relationship that could potentially hurt and disappoint us.

Aspects of Love	Immature Love	Mature Love
Emotional part of Love	Possessive Jealousy Infatuation Preoccupation Anxiety	Lasting Passion Desire for Companionship Warm Feeling of Contentment
Belief part of Love	“Love is Bling” “Love is external to us” “Cupid’s arrow” Love is beyond our control	Love is something you have to decide. Love means commitment, Trust, Sharing, Sacrifice
Behavior Part of love	Selfish Lustful  Concern only for satisfying own needs Clinging Over-dependent Demanding obedience from partner	Creates an environment of growth and development. Allows Partner space for growth.

Dating vs Hanging out:

Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called “hanging out.” ³ You young people apparently know what this is, but I will describe it for the benefit of those of us who are middle-aged or older and otherwise uninformed. Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.

For the benefit of some of you who are not middle-aged or older, I also may need to describe what dating is. Unlike hanging out, dating is not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.

 

According to Dallin H Oaks the following are contributing to the extinction of DATING in our society.

1. The cultural ties in our world run strongly agains commitments in family relationships. Our society is making it easier for marriages to end, having children is less common and when it does happen less children are being born. Dating on the contrary comes with commitment, even if it's just a couple of hours or however long the date last. Hanging out allows that pressure to be gone, there is no commitment in hanging out, you are only responsible for your well-being and your enjoyment.
2. The women's movement has also discouraged dating. Women are putting themselves, their careers, their lives before that of marriage and family life.
3. Hanging out is often sold on t.v as something glamorous and something everyone should desire, "the NYC lifestyle" is one of parties and social gatherings, it's a commitment free lifestyle (at least when it comes to romance and dating.)
4. The meaning of a date has also changed. So much that now men believe that dates should be expensive, impressive and out of this world. For those young me who don't have the means of such luxuries, they believe their simple, but yet well thought out dates are meaningless and no one would give them a chance. 

(Dating Versus Hanging out, Oaks)