Adoption

"We must work tirelessly to make sure that every boy and girl in America who is up for adoption has a family waiting to reach him or her… This is a season of miracles, and perhaps there is no greater miracle than finding a loving home for a child who needs one." Bill Clinton

 "Having been adopted, I really have a strong sense-a necessity almost-for stability. A foundation where my family is concerned. [Success] would be meaningless without anyone to share it with." Faith Hill

 "Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical,” Nicole Kidman

When we think of adoption we think of the beautiful part of adoption we think of the families that are opening up their homes and their hearts to these innocent children of Heavenly Father. We think of the lives that are being blessed as the children find themselves in the families that are now there's as well. But sometimes we don't really think of the other side of adoption, of the "giver" if you will. in 2003 there were about 1.4 million children born to unmarried women in the US which accounts for 1/3 of the total births. In 2007 40% of children were born to unmarried women.

Options:

• Abortion- terminating the child's life. Any easy way out of any potential problems the unmarried parents may face.
• Keeping and rearing the baby- giving the baby up for adoption is becoming more more rare in our society. more women are keeping the babies or aborting rather then putting them up for adoption.
  • one reason for such behavior is due to the parents of the child still being romanticly envolved when the baby is born.
  • another reason could be that becoming a single parent is more
  •  acceptable and it is easier to get financial help nowadays.   
  • They have more support from families and society with government assistance.
  LDS Family Services has many options and ways it can assist any individual wanting to keep the child or place it for adoption.
• if you want information on interracial adoptions you can click here Transracial Adoptions     

 

When Families aren't Perefect.....

 
















This post is going to talk about some social problems we face as a society. I know that these topics are sensitive to all of us but I think it is really important to be educated and to teach them because they affect us all in one way or another. 

ABUSE:
What is Abuse? 
Abuse consists of actions or attitudes that are intended to hurt or control. "Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body but it can deeply affect the mind and the spirit destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt and fear" (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
 Definitions:

• Child Maltreatment- encompasses child neglect and child abuse in their various forms.

 Statistics:

• wouldwive, younger children tend to be more vulnerable to physical abuse, and pubescent and adolescents are at relatively higher risk of being sexually abused.
• in the US over a 1 year period, 1 in 7 kids between ages of 2 and 17 were victims of maltreatment.
• parents and adult caregivers are responsible for child maltreatment in 80% of the cases. 

Risk factors:

• Poverty is positively related to child neglect but not abuse.
• poor child-parent relationship.
• low parent envolvment.
• low parental warmth.
• authoritarian parenting style
• single parenthood
• poor marital quality.
• dissatisfaction with the child.
• unrealistic expectations.
• stress.
• low impluse control
• those who have witnessed or been abused themselves are more likely to become the abuser later on, they are more likely to have violence in their relationships as adults.

Physical Abuse:
"With regards to physical abuse in the United States, research suggest that at least three fourths of parents have used some form of physical discipline at some point in theri parenting (such as spanking), and more than half have used tactics such as hitting with fists, striking children with sticks or belts, kicking, pushing or even throwing children." (Barnett et al, 2011) 
 
   I just want to talk a little about spanking. Spankig has been used for a very long time in parenting, Frequent, reflexive and thoughtless becomes less effective over time. Spanking will teach child what NOT to do but it won't teach child WHAT to do.
Children who are punished physically versus those who aren't are more likely to fight other children, use aggression to solve problems and to bully.  
Child psychological Abuse:
"..psychological abuse can be more harmful than physical abuse....at it's heart is a repeated pattern of demeaning, devaluing and conveying to a person that he or she is unlovable, worthless, or unwanted."    

I know feel like I need to talk about another major social problem, DIVORCE

• Research shows that 40 to 50 percent of first marriages and about 60 percent of remarriages are ending up in divorce. 
• those who suffer most are the children . "Children who experience their parents divorce are less likely to graduate from high school, go to college or graduate from college once they  start. they are twice as likely to doubt their parents religious beliefs and less likely to attend church services. They are at greater risk for early sexual behavior and pregnancy. They are more likely to experience a divorce when they marry."

• Spiritual advice on divorce
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The Power of United Families

As a Father, a Mother, a husband, a wife it is our responsibility to love and car for our children and each other. Sometimes when we think of family life we think of the following:

It's possible that we think of those things that we do everyday that make up our life, dirty dippers, running kids around town, planning birthday parties, going to PTA meetings, spit up on your shirt and all the wonders of family life. Literature critic Gary Saul Morson said the following "Grand drama and ecstatic moments do not make a life good. life is an everyday affair and the sum total of unremarkable, daily happenings defines it's quality... Many can preform heroic actions in the sight of all, but few possess the courage to do small things right without recognition."  Many times motherhood is looked down in society because it is not considered an achievement, any one can do it and therefore it's not as worthy of recognition. But I think to myself, how many heroic things have mothers done daily for their children that don't go notice, they don't make head lines, nor do they get a gold medal. There must be a reason why the FAMILY is the most important unit in society. 

 It has been proven that family work reveals a profound potential to strengthen and heal relationships "preforming mundane yet essential tasks for those who cannot do so for themselves (children) can create in the absence of pride, a precious connection between giver and receiver. As we figuratively touch each other at the simple level of everyday need, routine acts of service begin to mend feelings and foster unity. 

Service brings a feeling of peace and love for those who we serve, even when that service is to those closes to us. There is something about recalling all those special memories that were created as the family was working together, whether it is putting the Christmas Tree up, or working on the yard. Perhaps the family has taken on a project in the home. When you work together you learn to work with each other around and with their disabilities and strengths.

Family work was once a Norm- before the industrial revolution, families would labor together in the home which was a farm. The sons would usually work with the father outside while the daughters and mother would work inside, doing tasks like laundry, cleaning, canning food from the garden and so on. All this work would cause families to grow closer as the spent so much time together. The Industrial Revolution caused families to spend less time together, children were sent to government facilities to acquire an education, while fathers went to work in the factories.

The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints firmly believes in the power of families. The purpose for being on this earth is so that we could establish families of our own. It is within the family that we learn to develop patience, love, respect, understanding and above all charity.

"Mommy can I talk to God?

From the very beginning of time religion has been part of our society, it has been all over the world, counties have gone to war over religion. Here in the United States, there are many many religions, you step outside and see a church almost in every corner. Many Americans are religious, but why is religion so important and how does it affect the family, does it even affect family relationships?

Faith in Family Life

What does Faith mean? 
According to Joseph Smith faith is defined as "not only a belief but as a the principle of action in all intelligent beings."
There are many benefits that come with being actively religious

• religious affiliaction reduces the odds of marital infidelity as compared to those who aren't religious.

• in a study conducted with married couples, those who reported to have high religious importance but low church attendance were reported to have higher risk of marital infidelity.
          As we can see there is a strong correlation with church attendance and infidelity. I believe that this has to do in part with when we attend church we are reminded of the things that we should be doing and what we shouldn't. We hear sermons, lectures, testimonies and what not. This tends to keep us on track because if we were to be tempted to be unfaithful then our conscious would not leave us alone. It's one thing to say that you believe but it's another to actually show your belief, though church attendance and through your words and deeds. 
• being religious also has an impact on avoiding pornography, violence & conflict.Greater Church attendance reduces the rate of pornography use. another interesting finding involved those men who attend church more frequently than their wife our partner. When spouses each go to a different church, it increases domestic violence and marital failure.
  • time and time again I have see many families torn due to different religious practices within the home. The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints councils it's members to marry those within the same faith, for many reasons one being this exact finding, it is much harder to live in a happily marriage when the same religion isn't practiced by both parents, the conflict of which religion will we raise the kids in also comes up.
  "high levels of religious involvement - when dissimilar or unshared may contribute to instability and volatility instead of marital satisfaction, stability and durability.
• now lets shift to a different aspect of religion and mothers. Findings have shown that religious women are more likely to have children. It seems that the the importance religion places on a women's life shapes her desire for having children.
• religion influences important family decisions like, marriage, children, when to marry, what to look for in a spouse. 
• communities also benefit from women who are religious as they tend to have families which in turn help communities grow and succeed

• Men and religion tend to mix very well. There are many things that men do or don't do when they are religious. The more religious they are they tend to 
  • remain sexually chaste before marriage and faithful after marriage.
  • are and remain commited to marriage and children during difficult times, not giving into divorce.
  • highly involved in the lives of their children and their wife and they parent with more love.
  • remain involved with their children when challenges come along.
  • avoid practices that will harm the family, such as addictions, violence, infidelity and so on.
   

• prayers have also show to help strength marriage, especially when the couples pray together.

 Religion seems to bring something into the family and the marriage that you can't find anywhere else. As both the wife and husband strive to worship together and to attend church together the family will be much more united. They will feel a sense of peace, a sense of belonging but most of all a sense of purpose in life.